Saturday, December 27, 2008

Humour Sketch - US Army Stupidity - Vietnam and Iraq

The US military is inarguably, the best killing machine ever in the history of this planet. Why then, some ponder, would the US bleed in its many terrorist occupations? (yes, their actions cannot be constituted as a war syntactically or semantically in Vietnam and Iraq). Here is my attempt to answer that question and the answer, dear reader, is that any machine is only as good as the operator - unless of course, the machine can think for itself - which is another humour sketch altogether ...

Friday, December 12, 2008

Novella - Poster

 be continued

Short - Art Criticature

Submitted this proposal to IQ Magazine of Intellect Books for their next issue.

Storyboard - Devil in Elevator - Axe TV Spot/Ad/Commercial

Paul Baker
(TV Ad; v3; September 24, 2006)

Open: night; two 20-something guys at an office elevator; quiet corridors; most people have gone home

SFX: small hoofs clattering on tile floor; Devil comes around corner, walks up; nice shirt and jacket, but has hairy hoofed satyr legs; red face and hands, little horns, bald; looks kind of like Stanley Tucci; is preoccupied.

Axe guy (impressed), mutters to buddy: “Oh my god…it’s the Devil!
Buddy (mutters back): “Nah. Costume.”

Axe guy slightly nudges buddy w/ a “watch this” move, prepares to press elevator button, turns to Devil: “Going… down?”
Devil (pleasantly): “Yes… All the way”

In elevator: Axe guy shakes out cigarette, takes one, offers pack to Devil.
Devil (takes one): “Thanks”

Axe guy starts fishing for matches.
Devil: “I got it”
Snaps fingers, flame sprouts off finger, he lights both cigarettes, casually flicks whole hand to put out flame.

Axe guy (mutters to buddy): “Jeeez, it is the Devil!”
Buddy (mutters back): “Nah. Hidden lighter.”

Elevator stops, they all step into lobby. Devil throws cigarette to floor

CU of hoof squashing it out.

He turns, looks directly at guys: “See you ‘round, Kenneth….Jamie…”
Guys stare at each other, surprised. Buddy mouths: ”He knows our….”

Front shot of the two guys; Buddy’s blue denim shirt has giant stains at the armpits; he pulls at his collar. Axe guy is totally cool.
Axe guy, looking his buddy up and down: “Here’s a suggestion….”

Fade out. Product shot, and Announcer: "Axe Body Stick. Whatever happens, stay cool. Now available in four styles."

Fade in: Guys finishing their conversation; in background, Devil is clattering across lobby towards door, then suddenly vanishes. End.

Humour Sketch - What is God's Religion?

Miscellany - Painting Illustration - Hand Sensing Air

Strip - Murphy Quacks

Strip - Off The Shelf

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Ye Olde Comments:
Alina Chau @ 30 Jun 2006
Wicked!! HE!! HE!!

SJ @ 15 Sep 2005
Great man Nik.

SJ @ 31 Aug 2005
Really cool. I could not get it at first but when I remembered that at one party, there were roasted sausages and grilled veggies on a stick, it came all together.
Thumbs-up mate!

Nik @ 31 Aug 2005
Maybe it's a rather a British thing to have tiny sausages, cheese on a stick and jelly at parties! (I dont know why I chose the leek to DJ though!)